Daily silence

Today exactly one year ago I finished my first Vipassana course – a 10 day silent retreat with 100 hours of meditation. Check out the article I wrote about my experience, here.

During the last 12 months I’ve managed to keep up the daily practice. With very few exceptions, every morning I’ve sat down, shut up and observed what’s happening inside. More recently I’ve also become interested in Zazen, the meditation practice of Zen Buddhism. Although there are many differences between Vipassana and Zazen, at the core I feel they’re pretty much the same: It’s all about learning to see the way things really are, rather than living in a delusional fairy-tale world, tormented by broken dreams, unfulfilled desires and lies.

Now, when talking about meditation, any kind of expectation shouldn’t really be present at all. However, since I’m just a pretty normal, unenlightened guy, some expectations have slipped in. So if you had asked me one year ago what effect one year of meditation would have, I would have come up with all sorts of different ‘ideas’. Here are some reflections regarding these ideas: After one year of meditation…

I can sit in the full lotus position for hours without any discomfort

Sadly, this is not the case. I can’t even do the half lotus; my legs still fall asleep and after some time my back still starts craving a comfortable bed. Yes, I’m able to sit now for an hour without agony, but no pain? Nope. We are not monkeys, and I’m no fucking Yogi!

I've become a really peaceful person

I wish! Actually, more the opposite has occurred: I’ve been more angry than I was before. While this is not always fun, on the whole I regard this to be a good thing though. What’s the point in trying to be peaceful, when inside you’re feeling like you could set the world on fire? Regular meditation is helping me to accept the emotions that are present, be it anger, fear, grief or ecstasy. Like everything else, emotions come and go – so the trick is to not hold on to them; let them be, observe and then move on. As long as I don’t act out what I’m feeling, ie getting up and punching the first person I see, it’s fine because there’s always something to be learnt about myself.

I'm getting better at meditating

Again, wishful thinking. I used to assume that Zen masters are able to dip into deep and blissful trance states whenever they want, instantly! But actually this is not true. Even the Buddha himself had shit days when his restless mind drove him nuts (at least that’s what I’d like to think). What I’m learning more and more is that meditation is not about having goals – it’s quite a difficult lesson since we’re living in such a goal-orientated society. But really there is no goal, because a goal lies always in the future. The moment, the here and now, couldn’t care less about whether you’re getting better at meditating or not. As Brad Warner says, “Just sit down and shut up!”

My Ego and all desires have disappeared

Haha, that’s a funny one. Where would the Ego go? To heaven? Hell? A black hole? All the new age crap of ego destruction is just so unhealthy and especially UNREAL! What’s the problem with having an Ego? I think it makes much more sense to try your best at becoming friends with your Ego. Acknowledging its existence, because otherwise it will rear its ugly head even more and will play power games with you. Regarding the desires: I think there’s nothing wrong with having desires either; the problem starts when you allow them to control your life. When you become a slave to your desires, that’s when the real suffering starts. It’s that greedy voice in your head that drives you to the shopping mall when you could just go for a walk and watch a beautiful sunset. Meditation has helped me to question my desires and to see them for what they really are: random thoughts that promise happiness. Yet if I’m not happy today, what am I supposed to do with promises? Put them in a frame and pray to them?

Everything is just wonderful

Hm, let me see… No, it’s not. On many days life sucks, no matter how long I sit in silence. I think Hollywood and the advertisement industry are very guilty of causing these kinds of wrong expectations. If only I met the right partner, if only I found the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect answer to all my questions, then everything would be superdupa and I’d be living happily ever after. Bollocks to that! Life is cruel, painful and eternal happiness doesn’t exist. But you know what? That’s fine. Life is still beautiful. It’s an entertaining ride through ups and downs and we should be grateful for having been given the chance to experience it all. One thing daily meditation is doing for me is that it keeps me from overreacting and indulging in all the extremes. When I have a bad day, I might still be a moody German giving my house mates lots of frowns, but I know it will pass; likewise, when I sign a publishing contract for a new book, it certainly puts a joyous smile on my face but I’m not jumping around like a maniac any more. Because even the best day of my life will pass, and then what? The higher I jump, the lower I will fall. Which is not to say that you shouldn’t get excited, but just don’t expect the great moment to last. Cause it won’t.

In summary: 30-40 minutes of daily silence might not turn me into an enlightened saint any time soon (whatever that is, englightenment), but the regular practice really helps me to be more honest with myself – and this honesty makes everything more real and more fun too! Furthermore, rather than ‘understanding’ life only intellectually, I’m getting first hand experience of what it actually is: 

A colourful collection of fleeting moments!

In love with music

Great, another year being Single on Valentine’s day. Not that I care too much about commercial love days anyway, but it sucks seeing so much romance when you don’t get any yourself. Nevermind, there are more important things. Like...MUSIC!

What would we do without it? Seriously. Have you ever tried to dance to silence? Live a year without melodies? Be happy without your favourite tunes? It ain’t much fun...

Latest from the day when I started working in a local record shop at age 16, I was totally hooked! I’m hopelessly in love with what many call THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD.

For about 20 years I’ve been making mixes – first on 90min cassettes tapes, then on minidiscs, then on CDs and now MP3s. I adore exploring new music and putting it it together, it’s like doing a sound puzzle.

So for all the lonely souls out there and also for the loved-up ones, here’s my present to you for Valentine’s day: over 20 mixes of simply great music!

There’s something for everyone: Reggae, Soul, Ska, Rock, Electro, Swing, Chillout, Bluegrass, Folk, Acoustic - upbeat, downbeat, you name it! Music to dance, cry and love to, and most importantly: music to ENJOY!

Listen to any of the mixes online by going either to my DJ website – www.mr-mikosch.com – or straight to my page on Mixcloud: www.mixcloud.com/MrMikosch

Lions, sharks and the human beast

17 years ago I was diving in the Great Barrier Reef in Australia when suddenly a 2.5 meter shark passed right in front of me. He (or she?) briefly looked at me and then continued peacefully along the way. It was an absolutely amazing experience!

The strange thing is this though: sharks are said to be brutal killers – shound’t I be dead?

From an early age on we learn that sharks are dangerous. Our parents, friends and especially the media teach us that sharks love to eat humans. But the truth is far from it: They’re very shy animals, often they are even more scared of us than we are of them. And sadly, while our fear is irrational, theirs is justified.

Each year an average of 5 people get killed by shark attacks. At the same time humans kill over 100 million sharks – annually. That’s about 10.000 per hour! PER HOUR!

Most sharks are caught, their fins cut off and then the rest of the body is thrown back into the water. Fins are profitable, bleeding animals are not. Makes sense, right?

Another vicious animal is the lion. Not suprisingly, we either lock them in cages so we can stare at their amputated wilderness, or we kill them. But what if we treated them differently? Check out this video, at least the first couple of minutes. It’s probably the most beautiful thing you’ll see today:

Looking beyond our illusionary fear, here’s what lions and sharks really are: They’re beautiful animals! And they're the police of nature! As top predators they control the balance of the eco-system they’re living in. Sharks for examle eat fish which feed on plankton. Plankton takes carbon out of CO2 and thus produces breathable oxygen. No sharks mean more fish which means less plankton which means less air for us. Considering that about 75% of all our oxygen comes from the deep sea, the health of the oceans is vitally important to us. In other words: without sharks we are screwed!

I really recommend the documentary SHARKWATER – beautiful, sad and inspiring. And even free!

Now, you may wonder what all this has to do with you? You don’t eat sharkfin soup and you neither kill lions nor do you visit the zoo. So what are you trying to say, Claus?

Here it is: The world is a hyperconnected, living organism – if you destroy one part, it will affect all the rest. A simple concept, but somehow difficult to grasp for the highly evolved human mind.

Kill sharks and the oceans won’t be able to provide us with oxygen; cut down the rainforest to have burgers and salami and again – no trees, no oxygen. Burn all fossil fuels and the air gets polluted leading to...guess what? That’s right, no oxygen. So basically if we continue with our ‘ignorance-is-bliss’ strategy, we’ll suffocate!

Already I hear the Japanese say, ‘but sharkfin soup is so delicious!’ And the white man adds, ‘but I just adore the taste of lamb!’, while everyone insists, ‘I need a car and want to fly to Paris for the weekend to do some shopping!’ Human reasoning, you gotta love it!

Killing sharks for soup, cutting trees for juicy beef and polluting the air for comfort – you would think these are selfish acts, but they’re not. They’re stupid, because ultimately we’re committing suicide.

Here’s a final thought: If we as a species want to kill ourselves, that’s fair enough. But why do we need to kill all the other species in the process too? Surely we could figure out a smarter and more respectful way to go to heaven. Although I guess we won’t go to heaven anyway, because hell is where it belongs: the human beast!

Who knows, maybe some of us will end up like this…:

Change starts with your underpants

Once all politicians are replaced, there will be peace; once the banks are back in public hands, financial equality will be only a question of time; and once Monsanto is dead, everything will be just fine. Hm...

A few weeks ago I was in a healthfood shop, buying organic oats and fairtrade chocolate. As I was standing in the queue, waiting to pay, I noticed a small section nearby with a few different cloth items: t-shirts, socks, underpants, pyjamas and a couple of nice jumpers. All made from organic cotton, dyed with natural colours and produced under fair conditions. I grabbed a pair of boxershorts and proceeded to checkout.

„That’s 22,68 Euros”, the old lady at the till said.

„What? How much are the underpants?“

„18,90.“

Really? Almost 20 Euros for a piece of cloth that soon will be destroyed by frequent washing cycles and unavoidable farting – a bit expensive, innit? At H&M you get similar ones for 4,95 and in some other places they’re even cheaper. Perhaps I ought to scrap the idea of organic underwear and instead get more chocolate…

Who's evil?

Here’s some nice little background information: almost 50% of all cotton is genetically modified. In the EU, growing GM cotton is not allowed – but hardly anybody buys clothes anymore which are made in the EU. And now guess who’s the industry leader for GM cotton? Bingo: Monsanto! And those child-labour factories in Bangladesh, China and India, do they use organic cotton? I know, stupid question.

Our capitalist world is ruled by demand. That’s not good and neither is it bad, it’s just the way it is. What really matters is this: who demands all this cheap stuff? The evil rulers? Do they force us into the shopping malls and make us consume crap? Or is it us?

Who allows companies like Monsanto to grow?

The main argument against clothes made from organic cotton is the price. But that’s ridiculous: If it said ‘Calvin Klein’ on the label, most people wouldn’t hesitate to spend 20 Euros on a pair of underpants. As so often, it’s simply a question of priorities.

Another common argument is the lack of availability – ‘but where can I find organic clothes?’ Strange, when looking for new games, cheap flights or free porn, everybody knows where to go. But when it comes to finding out useful stuff, the internet seems to disappear miraculously from the face the Earth.

Small is beautiful - and very powerful!

We are attracted by ‘big’ solutions and put our hopes in everything that promises to solve all of our problems in one go: new elections, new inventions, the new job and of course, the new year. But big changes will only ever happen when many of us make lots of small changes in our everyday lives, starting today!

Who cares if the new president gets a solar-heated indoor pool and ‘considers’ less subsidies for seed empires? It’s normal people like you and me who have to take responsibility and create real changes. Remember, we are the 99%!

The clothes you wear, the food you eat, the transport you use – on a daily basis you can make little changes that, when added up, can make a huge difference. And yes, it starts with the underpants you wear. Or in other words: if you ain’t gonna change yourself, don’t expect to see a better world!

PS: It’s Christmas time – why not surprise a loved one with some really clean underwear?

Disconnect

10 months ago I spent 10 days on a silent retreat, meditating for 10 hours each day. During that time I was disconnected from the busy world that surrounds me - a chance to slow down, to reflect and to listen. An invitation to visit the here and now.

There's no need to become a monk and move into the woods, but: When was the last time that you didn't go online for a whole day? And to take it even a step further: when was the last time you spent a whole day with your phone switched off?

We seem to feel that we're missing out on something if we're not constantly checking the news, facebook posts and messages on whatsapp. There's so much happening and we want to keep track of everything or else we die! But is it possible to know everything? And is it necessary to always have the latest update on everything? Truth is: if we didn't check our emails and phones for a day or two, we wouldn't miss out on anything. Nothing. Zero.

Speed-reading, checking and answering; calling and scrolling and gossiping – this is exhausting stuff for our minds! So here's a suggestion:

Once in a while, take a day and disconnect from the world around you so that you can connect with the world that lies inside of you. Ignoring all those noisy screens and finding a moment of peace – creating space to simply be!

Growing revolution

Almost 5 years ago I’ve started to become aware of the terrible state of our currrent system, how abusive and how fragile it is. The economic crisis, dwindling energy supplies, total disrespect for the environment – there’s a long list of problems caused by our greed, by ruthless growth and widespread ignorance.

When I realized how dire our situation is, I’ve started to get active, almost in panic. I helped to create a website informing about problems and solutions, with some friends I innitiated a transition town project to increase local resilience and I was involved in setting up a local currency. However, today I’m no longer part of any of these. Life demanded that I move on and that I put my focus and energy towards other projects. And so I did.

But there is one thing I’ve started back in 2009 which I’m still doing and which I believe is one of the best things you can do – against the crisis and the environmental meltdown; for the planet, for your community and for yourself. It’s called Gardening!

No matter where I’ve lived – in a flat, a cottage or a little room in a shared house – there have always been possibilities to plant seeds for a brighter future. If you don't have direct access to any land you can rent a small allotment nearby. They exist everywhere, I've seen them even in big places like Berlin and Barcelona. Urban gardening is slowly conquering the cities!

Growing your own food puts you back in control of what you eat. No genetic modification, no chemicals and no onions that have to travel thousands of miles to arrive in your kitchen. Instead, you get local and organic produce that feeds both your body and soul. Here’s an old proverb which sums it up nicely:

If you want to be happy for a day, get drunk.

If you want to be happy for a year, get married.

If you want to be happy for a lifetime, take up gardening.

We don’t need more fast food and plastic bags and new phones and all the other crap that litters the land and the sea and the human mind. We need a GROWING REVOLUTION that transforms the world back into a healthy and beautiful place - cultivating plants and consciousness!

Most importantly, gardening provides a chance to reconnect with our home: the Earth.

Sharing time

Right in the middle of working on a new book, struggling to distinguish between fiction and reality, I’ve met a beautiful woman and fell in love. A day spent together on the beach was all it took to restore my faith that falling in love is actually possible.

Unfortunately, only one week later I was dumped. A wave of disappointment rolled over me and I thought it was just not fair. To make matters worse, I had started writing a little love song which I really liked and now I saw the new melody drowning in the deep sea of failed summer romances. But then I started wondering, ‘why do I feel like this?’ Why couldn’t I be simply grateful for the beautiful moments we had shared? Letting them be what they were: unique fragments of time that had made me really happy.

So while being dumped has caused some temporary pain to my ego, the amazing day on the beach has kept its beauty; even though my longing heart was hoping for another dose of love, the experience itself didn’t actually need any repetition – it was already complete just as it was!

So on the same day that I was dumped, I finished the song.

Soon after a friend came to visit and I met his partner, Jamie. Almost instantly, Jamie and I became really good friends. We laughed and cried over broken dreams and future hopes, and we played music – lots of it! Then, after a few days, my new friend left and I got a similar sensation as before: all of a sudden, a series of beautiful moments had ended and there was nothing I could do about it. Gone!

Two women in two weeks – with both I had a very different yet equally amazing time. The fact that both experiences are over is still making me a little sad, but the dominant feeling is one of gratitude. I feel blessed for having so many opportunities to live through beautiful moments with others. And the thing is: if moments never ended, how could we ever experience new ones? As Ben Harper says, ‘there are so many special people in the world’ – all out there, waiting to be met!

The night before she left, Jamie and I played the song that I had written about my summer romance. It’s an example of what we’re doing here on Earth: Sharing time!

PS: I love chocolate too!